You may be here because you found me on 59E59 Theaters’ website. And I very much hope to see you at my show, “Alexander Klaus, the One-Legged Shoemaker Man,” in December!

Now, about that word, “Epyllionard.” (Pronunciation guide — because even my sister, who is smarter than I am, had trouble puzzling it out — it’s “eh-PILL-yon-ARD”).

Some years ago a very good friend, who is a real-live poet, introduced me to some of her other friends as an epic poet. I wasn’t prepared for this, exactly. My reaction — which was silent of course — was kind of, “omg what?” I mean, it was a lovely thing to say. But if I introduce myself to YOU as an epic poet, your first impression will be a sort of silent annotation, to attach to my name: “Christian Hege… epic poet… jerk.”

Meanwhile here I am, writing (and performing!) long solo stories in verse. Not a lot of people do this. “Alexander Klaus, the One-Legged Shoemaker Man” is 786 lines long. Some sections are iambic, some are anapestic, and all are in rhyme. So my friend was actually serious, about epic poetry. I mean, she’s a poet. She knows this stuff.

But still.

Then one evening, I somehow stumbled on a new word: “epyllion.” The definition is a little slippery — it’s a classical… form? Sort of a little sister to the epic. And as far as I can tell, a little shorter, and probably about mortals, instead of gods.

Or maybe I’m just making all this up. But I do have this encouraging sentence from Wikipedia’s “Epyllion” article:

“The exact meaning and applicability of the term epyllion has remained a matter of dispute…”

…And honestly. that disputed term seemed to fit the bill. So I’m staking my claim.

Now. EpyllionARD.

I needed a word for the person who will WRITE an epyllion. This was a bit of an improvisation on my part, and wholly without decent precedent, as far as I could tell. But we have the word “bard,” which is pretty well understood, and certainly not disputed. Why not make it rhyme.

At some point, I’ll get around to reading some of the things that have been labeled as epyllions. Or epyllia. Or maybe even epylliae. I’ve found two of those words online, so even the plural is in dispute. But as of December 4, 2024, the word “epyllionard” is not.

Come see! And say hello after the show.


THANKS SO MUCH for stopping by! I hope to see you in December — I am SO HAPPY to be able to perform this piece.

Oh and p.s. if you’re a stranger here? My last name rhymes with Peggy. The name is Swiss, and the spelling has been in dispute for centuries.